Inevitably, as the evenings draw on and the fourth bottle is opened, the nature of the conversation tends to become more risky, more personal, and last night’s get-together was certainly no exception.

One of the group looked as though she had something important on her mind yet seemed a little hesitant to bring it out into discussion. However, with a little encouragement and a lot more wine, we finally got her to say what was troubling her and we were all shocked when she burst into tears, declaring through sobs that she had never managed to ‘come’ during sex. After we managed to calm her down (chocolate played a big role here), we all talked openly about our climaxing histories and soon established that the female orgasm is not an easy thing to achieve during intercourse, with only one in our group of five consistently managing to achieve it without any clitoral aid.

Discovering she was not alone or abnormal made my lovely friend feel so much better. She had been pretending to come for years, feeling unable to admit to her partner the truth because she was worried he would either think there was something wrong with him because he was unable to satisfy her, or that there was something wrong with her because “all the other girls he’d slept with have all come.” It was a conversation she didn’t feel able to have, or wish to have for that matter. Nor did she want to admit that she’d been faking it for all these years.

Our brief chat that night was an enlightening one for us all and was massively therapeutic. We discovered that one girl’s partner hated the idea of incorporating sex toys into their love-making because he felt them unnecessary and a bit of a slight on his ability to please her. However, with some horny foreplay and a large amount of reassurance and encouragement, this girl now has fabulous sex and they regularly shop for toys together, incorporating it into the bedroom fun. Another of the group has a sex drive that far outweighs that of her husbands, so regularly relies on masturbation, again using vibrators to help enhance her experience.

Our conclusions, following the discussions of the night, were that women (and men for that matter) should talk more openly about sex more often with those whom them love and trust. If this was to happen, people who may be suffering from feelings of failure or who may feel there is something wrong with them will soon discover that they are no different from the next person. A little guidance and coaching not only can help your mental attitude, but may also lead to some fantastic sex.

Apparently, my lovely friend, having gained some courage after our evening together (definitely helped by the wine she had drunk), went home to her partner and asked him to stimulate her clitoris whilst they made love. She has told us this morning that she is no longer an ‘orgasm during sex’ virgin. Go girl!

My partner and I have spent many a happy evening hunting down my G-spot, and whilst the search has always been fun, sadly, despite many years of trying, we have failed entirely in its location. I had heard great things about the We-Vibe II being an excellent G-spot and …

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My husband and I were enjoying a quiet peruse of The Boudoir site, looking for a new Vibrator to enjoy when we came across the Fun Factory Delight. Being a complete sucker for anything beautiful, I was immedi…

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Certainly, before we got married, I found my husband’s approach to sock removal to be quite intriguing and almost quirky-attractive in its uniqueness. However, 15 years on, whenever he drags his heel across the carpet to remove said sock, I find my blood starting to boil and have to adopt some calming, stress-relieving techniques to maintain focus on the important things – the fact that he is a hugely loving, supportive man who doesn’t have a bad bone in his body and who would go to the end of the earth if needed to for his family. Breathe….forget the sock thing….it’s not important.

However, no matter which way you look at it, annoying habits become increasingly anger-inducing over time so it is good practice to discuss the annoying habit with your partner, calmly and in as non-criticising way as possible. Explain how the habit makes you feel. Ask him/her to do their best to stop, just as you will do your best to not let it get to you if, at times, the habit returns. In a partnership, it’s important to both work together and to appreciate the role you both play, so try hard to see things from your partner’s perspective and appreciate that life-long habits cannot be broken overnight, nor should you expect a 100% success rate. We find that finding humour helps in these circumstances, so try and make light of it, whilst explaining how you’d love for the habit not to be there. They may not even realise they ‘do’ the offending thing at all!

We at We Live Together have taken some time to undertake some analysis as to what constitutes the most common annoying habits. If your partner exhibits any of these and your want them eradicated, you might want to refer them to this blog as a ‘subtle’ way of bringing the topic to light.

• wet towels left on the floor
• nose picking
• burping
• nagging
• poor personal hygiene
• toilet seat being left up
• toilet roll not being replaced
• leaving plates/coffee cups and not clearing up
• leaving dirty clothes on the floor
• using baby-talk or nicknames in public
• flirting
• buying too many pairs of shoes
• over-packing for holidays
• under-packing for holidays
• spending too much/too little
• taking too long to get ready
• being late
• laughing at your own jokes

It appears these are just a few of the many annoying habits that exist, and of course, some will be more annoying than others depending on your nature. However, without a shadow of a doubt, we are certain we all exhibit a number of annoying habits, so before you begin to tackle those of your partners, take a good cold look at yourself and consider what you do/say that might be frustrating your other half. It’s much better to address someone elses habit if you go armed with a resolution to one of your own. Good luck!

Discretion is of utmost importance to me when it comes to choosing a sex toy. I have a busy household with 3 children and a job that takes me away a couple of nights a month during which time I like to enjoy a long leisurely bath in peace and an indulgent play with my vibrator at the end of the working day.I am not keen on either the person adj…

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Following on from our previous topic the 4 stages of Female arousal and looking at the arousal stage itself, we move on to the next level of pleasure, the plateau. The term seems to suggest a point at which no progress in p…

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As the evening progresses, conversation typically becomes more ‘forthright’, questions more probing and responses more honest. Many a time have I woken the following morning, groaning as I recollect the topics of conversation from the previous evening. “I didn’t say that, did I?”…not to mention the things I’ve forgotten about!

The main topic of yesterday’s discussions was whether you can truly be happily married if you tend to continue to lead separate lives. Can you have a single-state-of-mind yet be able to have a close relationship?

A number of our friends are in relationships and marriages where they and their partners largely do their own thing. There seems to be so little time spent together that there almost appears to be no commonality, no shared interests other than the bed into which they both fall at the end of the day. How do relationships like this work? Are they really relationships at all? Is there any point in being together when so much time is spent with others?

We quizzed one such friend on the very subject, expressing surprise at her single-minded approach to marriage. Her response was insightful. “In a functioning relationship, having a significant amount of time apart can be healthy” she said. She explained that she and her partner are similar in their mindset – they very much enjoy the time they spend together, but both crave the company of mates, and having spent so many years ‘pleasing themselves’, they have a strong desire to continue to do just that.

The key here is that both are very independent personalities. They value each other, enjoy and make time for one another, but also focus on their own needs with equal measure. There is no conflict because they have identical needs and views as to what makes their relationship work. It may seem an odd set-up for the more traditional couple, but there is no doubt that it suits these two down to the ground. The problems occur when only one of you is happy to do your own thing, leaving the other frustrated, angry, isolated, lonely and disillusioned. If your levels of independence don’t match, then there needs to be some compromise for a harmonious partnership to be achieved. Have a ‘catch-up night’ once a week, when all invitations are refused, phones are switched off and focus is entirely on your partner. Take it in turns to organise a date night – this is a great way to ‘encourage’ each other to step outside of our comfort-zones. If one of you likes to party, but the other prefers a night on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a film, but venturing into the other’s world, you can help each other to appreciate the finer points of both.

Too much togetherness, of course, is as bad as too little. When a couple gets to the point where they only spend time with their partner, it can be smothering and unhealthy for even the closest relationship. Similarly, if you are both very single-minded souls, you need to be wary that you don’t drift apart. Even the most independent of us can feel abandoned if our partners are constantly out.

Not letting your partner feel overlooked is the secret of being successfully single at heart. Understand your partner’s needs, make time for them and ensure they know how much they mean to you, and your relationship will work.

These days, approximately 70% of us decides that living with our partner is a good idea before deciding to tie the knot, and I for one most definitely fall into this camp. The thought of marrying someone without having properly experienced their idiosynchracies and unique habits, their likes and dislikes, their OCD approach to can storage or towel hanging, their thoughts on laundry and dish-washing strikes me as utter madness. Why on earth, in a world where such arrangements are mostly accepted, would you not want to ‘vet’ your partner in a real-life, honest, no-stone-left-unturned situation?

I am not so short-sighted to not appreciate that we are part of a ‘divorced parents’ era. However, I’m absolutely convinced that personally, I would rather live alone than enter into marriage without having previously lived with my partner for a sufficient length of time as to provide me with a clear picture of what married life with this ‘other half’ will be like.  My husband and I cohabited for seven years before finally saying ‘I do’. During this time, I learned vital things about him that would, perhaps, have come as a bit of a shock and taken some adjustment. Nothing serious, just things like when removing his socks after a night out, rather than sit on the bed and use his hands to take them from his feet, he would stand and scrape his sock-adorned foot along the carpet, using the friction to remove said clothing item. Certainly not divorce-worthy, but an unexpected habit which caused slight annoyance on my part. It reminded me of my (now deceased) cat who used to rub it’s bottom along the floor. Quite unattractive and not a particularly flattering simile to make.

Whilst there are, undeniably, people who go from cohabiting to marriage for the very reason that it seems to be the next natural step, I would suggest that it is not the cohabiting that is the issue, but more likely the lack of analysis and honest assessment of what one wants from a partner. What are the fundamentals that are needed to make a relationship and a marriage work? The answer to this question is unique to each of us, and by asking it and providing a critical and fully thought-out response, I’m certain the divorce rate would fall dramatically. Regardless, I wholly believe that you never really know someone unless you live with them and would urge everyone to go through a ‘test run’ of an appropriate length before popping on the bling.

In our previous topic 4 stages of female arousal we explained the four different states of arousal a female travels through on her way to orgasm and recovery. There are many ways in which each stage can be improved in terms of physical (and psychological) enjoyment in which …

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